Since I'm all about self-disclosure, I might as well take this moment to share with you my most recent embarrassing moment. Mostly because it's been playing through my head ever since it happened, and maybe this will be some sort of release or confessional way of getting it off my chest.
Wednesday was a crazy day in the office. Our office suite involves at least four different departments (there could technically be more), and we get all kinds of visitors walk through the lobby - students, University V[i]P's, reporters, parents, missionaries, and other guests with random important-sounding-titles. One of those randoms this week was a representative from the International Justice Mission, an organization which does a phenomenal job at fighting injustice in the world. I've kind of had a job-crush on them for a while, and so when I heard this representative was coming through for a meeting with my boss's boss, I got excited.
Well, that excitement certainly showed - and while enthusiasm is an admirable quality, sometimes it can work against you. Once he arrived, I transformed into nervous-giggling-chatty-college girl, instead of mature, collected, look-at-how-well-I-do-my-job-don't-you-want-to-hire-me, young professional girl. Embarrassing.
I'm not sure if he took it the same way I did, but I know myself, and know that I can keep it together a lot better than that!
Most of the damage was done on his way out of the office, as he stopped by the front desk before exiting. I guess I had kept my cool enough in his first visit that he still felt obligated to pass his email and invite me to apply for internships. I didn't feel like I deserved that chance at all.
Ever since the "incident," I've been replaying the encounter, laughing at myself, and seeing the Lord through it.
This week I'm just overwhelmed with how little I know - not in a negative way, but just in a human way. I make so many mistakes, which is part of life, but still, there are so many!!
"Lexie, I know you're silly. I know you're enthusiastic and sometimes you put your foot in your mouth, and you're worried about how you come across, and you want to do better. I created you, remember? I put that little spark inside you that gets excited to meet with people and wants to make connections and I like watching your words snowball away from you, leaving you helpless to do anything but just watch and laugh. And I have a plan for you, you silly goose. I like to chuckle with you about harmless mistakes - they are just a reminder that you belong to me, and I'm in control. You have nothing to worry about."
Phew. Thanks God. I needed that.
Endnote: Blogging is scary.Would you leave me a comment to know you don't think I'm crazy? I'd love to hear your thoughts... like do your words slip away from you when you get excited? How do you handle the whole "foot in your mouth" thing? Any pointers for me? :)
PS. Get these blog posts in your email by subscribing on the right hand side of this page