March passed by slowly, quietly, uneventfully.
Jake traveled for two weeks and when he was packing, I was planning. I thought I'd take the two weeks to have adventures - visit new places in Denver, try free workout classes, go hiking, meet up with people. To sink my roots deeper in this place and feel connected to the town and it's people.
Instead, I defaulted to the things I usually do. The simple things in solitude. I went to the library, then a coffee shop to read. Took a walk around my neighborhood. Visited the mall when I got bored, where I was surrounded by people but still very much alone.
I'm really trying to figure out this balance of living a quiet life but also a meaningful one. A memorable one. A rich, connected, purposed life.
I definitely feel comfortable in simplicity, like dinners of toasted sourdough bread, lightly tossed greens, and an egg or tomato soup. I can feel content in the quiet, while going on walks and noticing the first buds of spring and the birds' song of the season.
But somedays, my life feels a little too quiet. A little too isolated.
It's not that I need more, but I need meaning. I realize that I won't find my worth and value in my relationship, my job, my hobbies. I know that the church says it's found in faith, but I struggle to clearly see and believe that.
Still, I press on. In hopes that April doesn't play out the same way as March, I'm setting out to work with my hands a bit harder, wake up a little earlier, dig in my devotional time a little deeper. To keep living the quiet life but while actively searching for meaning and connection.
I have a few April goals to direct me.
- Learn to run again (3x/week, "long" runs on Saturdays)
- Non-drink-related socializing at LEAST once a week (I just mean that I enjoy other things so much more than happy hours - walks, hikes, game nights, early morning coffees, the FARMERS MARKET which is opening!!)
- Cultivate friendships (I liked looking up the definition for this buzzword, "try to acquire or develop (a quality, sentiment, or skill); try to win the friendship or favor of (someone)"
- Consistent wake up time (6:15am)
- Getting myself to our church's community group, even if Jake can't go with me.
- Journaling again (I've stopped???)
- More phone calls to my far-away people who GET me, because it can be super draining when spending time with new people who I really like, but don't feel known/seen/understood.
Okay, any thoughts on how you lead a meaningful, connected, quiet life? Please feel free to share resources/thoughts/books/podcasts/paintings/whatever :) I like knowing what inspires, helps, teaches, encourages others.
Cheers to April. I hope it's full of the coziest kind of rain and deep connections.